Showing posts with label Jonathan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jonathan. Show all posts

Monday, September 8, 2025

Reflecting on Familiar Places: A Connecticut–NYC Journey


 

Lately I’ve opened some of my blog entries with a cartoon. Usually these introduce political pieces, the cartoon serving as a sharp commentary on our increasingly dysfunctional government and the strange worlds of social media. This entry isn’t political, but I’m beginning with a cartoon anyway. It feels less like satire and more like poetry: it captures the sweep of our lives, stirring both humor and emotion. These days, we really do turn to Alexa and the gadgets that only recently slipped into the vocabulary of daily life.

 

The cartoon also connects to our recent travels—back to the places where we can’t really go home again, but still visit: Connecticut and New York City, the two landscapes that shaped my life the most. Wallace Stegner once said that if we live too narrowly in too many places, we lose touch. At least I can still hold on to these places of my youth and early adulthood.

 

My wife Ann wrote an email to friends about halfway through our trip. I’ve freely borrowed parts of it—not quoting her exact words, but weaving them into this posting, modifying and adding where needed. It made no sense to recreate what she had already written, so I’ve conflated some of our views here.

 

So, on Thursday, August 14th, our alarm went off at 3:50 a.m. to make a 6:00 a.m. flight to Westchester. Why so early? Unless you own your own private jet (increasingly the ultimate status symbol, along with a Rolex Daytona), any seasoned traveler out of Florida knows that the early morning flights are about the only ones you can truly depend on.

 

Landing in Westchester, I made a beeline for my Avis rental car, hoping for something familiar—I had booked a Toyota Avalon or equivalent. Instead, I was handed a Dodge Hornet hybrid: take it or leave it. Decent enough as a small SUV, but prone to malfunctioning at critical moments. The worst came when I returned it in NYC. I had to block traffic on West 54th to unload luggage, when suddenly the car refused to recognize the FOB and shut down. Couldn’t start it. Couldn’t get the luggage out. Behind me: a symphony of blaring horns. Finally, by locking and unlocking it, the car recognized the FOB again. Crazy. Frustrating. 

 

Back to Connecticut. Although we spent only three days in Norwalk, they were eventful. Our older son, Chris, and his fiancée, Megan, drove down from Massachusetts to meet us. The next day, our daughter-in-law Tracie drove up from New York with her parents, Pat and Alan Wong, who had just arrived from Hong Kong.  We all met our younger son, Jonathan, on the same boat Ann and I lived on during summers before Covid shut everything down. Jonathan has since taken over the boat, and now our boating lives exist only in memory—though refreshed by seeing the ‘Swept Away’ once again. The high point was then taking her out under the command of Capt’n Jonathan on one of those splendid, sun-filled Connecticut days.

 






The eight of us celebrated engagements, birthdays, and anniversaries. It is rare that our small family can all be together. Aside from the boat, we had a celebratory dinner at Rive Bistro on the Saugatuck River—another place filled with memories for me. It was my “go-to” restaurant for meeting with authors and vendors when I worked in Westport for decades before I retired. It was then called The Mooring Restaurant. Ironically, Chris worked there in high school, washing dishes once he got his driver’s license. I inexplicably remember those kinds of details. Today, the restaurant is French, with excellent food—particularly their mussels.

 


Sunday morning, after brunch at Jacob’s Pickles in Norwalk (we’ve also been to their Upper West Side location), we said our goodbyes to Chris and Megan and then we drove into the city, taking the same route I took when I commuted to Westport from NYC and back for the first year I worked there in 1970.  Amazingly, the roads don’t look much different. 

 

After the fiasco of unpacking luggage and returning the car, we checked into an upper midtown hotel. Our corner room on the 47th floor had floor-to-ceiling windows on two sides, offering spectacular views of the Hudson River, Central Park, and the nearby skyscrapers—including the Central Park Tower, the world’s tallest residential skyscraper at 1,550 feet. Even halfway up, we had to strain our necks to see the top.


 

Since we were spending almost two weeks in NYC, pacing ourselves felt important. Even in our room we felt part of the city, by day and by night. With a small kitchenette, it even felt a little like home. When not out, we had the Little League World Series and the U.S. Open Tennis on TV—our two favorite sports. 

 




That first night, we had dinner at Birdland, sitting right in front of jazz pianist Ben Paterson and his trio as they celebrated Oscar Peterson’s centennial. The selections echoed Oscar’s music—perfect for unwinding after the day.

 


The next night we met up with Pat and Alan, Tracie’s parents, and Jon and Tracie for a spectacular dinner at Salumeria Rosi, coincidentally near both of our old Upper West Side apartments. Ann was transported in her imagination to Maria’s kitchen—her best friend in Milan—enjoying Pasta con Vongole. Both Maria’s and the restaurant’s version of linguine with baby clams were nearly identical, Ann’s favorite dish.

 

Since Tracie was celebrating her 50th birthday the next night, Jonathan chose a very special Japanese restaurant, The Gallery by Odo. We six were the only party in the Tasting Room, with the chef preparing all the dishes in front of us. The following day, Alan and Pat flew home—and we recuperated!

 


Most of our New York visits in recent years have been crammed with theater. Summer is not the best time for shows, though, and after reviewing our options (and ticket prices), we decided to mostly forego Broadway this time and focus on museums and jazz clubs.

 


Our first museum stop was the newly remodeled Frick Collection, with a total of five Vermeers, two on loan. 


 

“The unprecedented installation of paintings united in the exhibition ‘Vermeer’s Love Letters’ pairs the Frick’s 'Mistress and Maid' with loans of the Rijksmuseum’s 'Love Letter' and the National Gallery of Ireland’s 'Woman Writing a Letter with Her Maid'.” We spent a long time closely inspecting their details, particularly the relationships between servants and employers. We were lucky to see this, as the exhibit closed soon after our visit.  After some other exhibits at the museum, and admiring the architecture, we enjoyed our lunch at the Westmoreland Café.

 

The next evening, thanks to our friend Judith’s suggestion, we had dinner at Acadia, a Mediterranean-inspired restaurant with table-served hummus and a hot loaf of herbed pita bread. Honestly, give me bread like that and some olive oil, and that’s a meal. The hummus was creamy, perfectly seasoned, with added chickpeas, tahini, lemon juice, garlic, and olive oil. Ambrosial!


 

After dinner, we headed to New York City Center to see the one show we booked, “Ava: Secret Conversations,” written by and starring Elizabeth McGovern. By chance, on the way we ran into our Floridian neighbors, Marty and Susan, who also had tickets that very same night. McGovern, playing an ill and older Ava Gardner, strutted and swore with the best of them: a very entertaining and thought-provoking play.

 

The Museum of Modern Art was within walking distance of our hotel, so the next day we met Jonathan and Tracie there. I was particularly interested in the special exhibits, especially the ‘Celebrity Photo Exhibit’ and ‘Machine Art’ (The highlight for me from the latter was a propeller made by Sullivan Shipyard in 1925.  A thing of beauty!)  

 



But the infamous “museum stroll” soon took its toll, and we were relieved Jonathan had booked lunch at The Modern, at an outdoor table overlooking the sculpture garden.

 


I hope this picture of us at MOMA shows that in spite of the demands of the trip, we were enjoying ourselves—and maybe communicates what we heard repeatedly: people were surprised to learn we are in our eighties, especially Ann, who was sometimes stopped on the street or in elevators by strangers wanting to tell her how stunning she looked. I agree. Her ponytail seals the case!

 

It was an extraordinary lunch, though extraordinary in price too, even with the Restaurant Week menu. The weather was perfect, and afterward we strolled through more galleries and the sculpture garden with throngs of visitors from around the world: a classic New York Sunday.

 




That night we cabbed to the West Village (our subway days are over—taxis were convenient and even cheaper than Uber) to see Samara Joy at Mezzrow, a small, claustrophobic jazz club on West 10th Street. We’d seen Samara when she was just starting out during Covid at “Emmet’s Place,” and later on a jazz cruise.

 


She’s the real deal, destined to be compared with Ella Fitzgerald or Sarah Vaughan. We were surprised to catch her in such an intimate club, but that’s part of the jazz experience. Her voice has range and power, though her set leaned more contemporary than the classic jazz we prefer. Still, with her trio—including drummer Evan Sherman, whom we also first saw at Emmet’s—her performance was memorable.

 


While in the Village, do what the villagers do: after the show we went to Boucherie on lower 7th Avenue, a French restaurant, perfect for people-watching from a table open to the street as well as the picturesque bar. Overwhelming to see today’s youth scene, knowing we were once part of that world but now visitors from another galaxy.

 

Somewhere in this hectic schedule I fit in breakfast at my favorite Greek diner, Cosmic, on 8th Avenue and 52nd Street. There I met Jim Cummins, someone I hadn’t seen in about 65 years. In 1959, when I worked summers in my father’s photography studio at 100 Fifth Avenue, Jim’s father was the utility meter reader there. He mentioned his son wanted to learn photography, and my father said sure. Our paths briefly crossed then. I left photography as a career, but Jim embraced it: over 1,000 music album covers, plus work for Newsday, The New York Times, and Newsweek. His true love is photographing New York City, and his “Hidden NewYork: The Art of the City” was just published.

 


He found me through my blog, and though we’d corresponded, this was our first time sitting down together. He inscribed his book to me: “To Bob, 65 years of friendship and here’s to Hagelstein Bros. Be Well, Jim.” Stunning photos throughout. He liked to climb the towers of bridges, like the Verrazano, to photograph events such as the start of the New York Marathon. “Peaceful up there,” he said, while I replied “I’d fear being blown away!”

 

Talk about branding—JP Morgan leads the pack, especially in NYC. You can hardly look anywhere without seeing its name. Its new headquarters at 270 Park Avenue, occupying a full block, rises nearly as tall as the Empire State Building. Watching the U.S. Open, there’s its logo again. I tried to take photos of the building across the street in front of 277 Park Avenue.  I had an epiphany. In 1967, I attended a publishing party in that very building celebrating the facsimile edition of“The Iconography of Manhattan Island.” Back then, 50-story 277 Park, newly built, was hailed as the skyscraper of the future. Now it is dwarfed by JP Morgan’s tower.

 



The etiology of all this is the man himself, J. P. Morgan, the Gilded Age financier. His legacy also includes one of New York’s most interesting museums, the JP Morgan Library. They had a special Jane Austen exhibit, where we spent most of our time.


 

 “Iconic artifacts from Jane Austen’s House in Chawton, England join manuscripts, books, and artworks from the Morgan and a dozen collections, offering new perspectives on Austen’s literary achievement, personal style, and global legacy.”

 

First editions…

 



The music she played…

 


“This lovely, unostentatious gold and turquoise ring was made between 1760 and 1780. By tradition, turquoise is the December birthstone, Jane Austen’s month, but whether she bought the ring or received it as a gift is not known. In 1820 Cassandra gave it to Henry’s second wife, Eleanor, as an engagement present. A fundraising campaign enabled Jane Austen’s House to secure the ring.”

 


Perhaps my favorite photo of the entire trip came here. The exhibit included Amy Sherald’s oil painting, ‘A Single Man in Possession of a Good Fortune, 2019’. The title, of course, is from Pride and Prejudice. Sherald composes “striking, dignified portraits of people of color.” I should call my photo “Reflecting upon a reflection.”

 


Another stunning exhibit was ‘Arresting Beauty,’covering the photography of Julia Margaret Cameron, a pioneer of art photography in the mid-19th century. I was embarrassed never to have heard of her. Her ‘The Mountain Nymph Sweet Liberty’ (1866) particularly spoke to me—it was taken the year my great-grandfather started our family photography business. The more I looked, the more I felt the subject was looking back at me, across 150 years.

 


That night we went with Jonathan and Tracie to Dizzy’s to hear up-and-coming jazz vocalist Katie Kortum. She reminded us of Jane Monheit when we first heard her at the Maltz Theatre and then Palm Beach’s Royal Room years ago. Katie has a similar range and sensibility, with a particular love of Stephen Sondheim’s work. The setting—overlooking Columbus Circle and Central Park — is spectacular.

 


As if we hadn’t celebrated enough, we took Tracie and Jonathan out the next night for his 49th birthday at Four Twenty Five, a Jean-Georges Michelin-rated restaurant. The food, the service, the view of the kitchen—all exceptional (so was the price!).

 


The next day we visited one of our must-see stops, the New York Historical Society. I especially wanted to see their exhibit ‘Blacklisted: An American Story,’ exploring the intersection of politics, art, and culture during Hollywood’s Red Scare. While looking at letters from Frank Sinatra, John Garfield, and material from the film “Pride of the Marines,” I couldn’t help thinking about our own, more fearsome scare today, orchestrated by a president who never should have been in that office. Enough said about that here.

 





Another lighter exhibit, ‘Dining in Transit,’ displayed vintage menus from trains, planes, and ships. My favorite was a 1955 list of “qualifications” required to become a TWA air hostess. Indeed, a lucky girl!  Different times. Even passengers had unspoken dress codes: suits and ties for men, dresses for women. Military dress, acceptable. No tattoos, flip-flops or tight shorts!    

 


We lunched at the Historical Society’s new American restaurant, Clara, where the air conditioning was set to meat-locker strength. No wonder our favorite dish was piping-hot potato soup!


 

Their museum shop is irresistible, especially a chance to buy their “Declaration of Independence” baseball.  Is the metaphor still as American as apple pie? Nonetheless, I’ve added it to my baseball collection.


 

While family, jazz, museums, and restaurants were our primary activities, most mornings after breakfast I took my real digital camera and wandered for up to two hours in all directions, through Central Park, down Fifth and Park Avenues, across 57th Street, and inevitably into Times Square, trying to capture interesting shots of NYC scenes and architecture.  This present blog entry, including other photographs, is unwieldy as it is, so check out this link to my prior entry where I posted some of those walkabout shots but with little commentary, Streetscapes and Skylines


 

Thursday, July 24, 2025

A Published Memoir Makes the Dream Real


 

Yes, I’ve gone and done it—I’ve published a memoir: Explaining It: A Life Between the Lines. One can find all the relevant information on Amazon

 Quick summary: paperback, 6x9 inches, 420 pages, 97 illustrations, $19.95.

 A word (okay, maybe more than one) about the title and subtitle. This completes what I informally call the “Explaining It” trilogy—though no cataloger will find such a bibliographic designation in the Library of Congress where all three of my books now reside. The first two volumes are:

 - Waiting for Someone to Explain It: The Rise of Contempt and Decline of Sense (2019) – a political meditation born of frustration and disillusionment.

- Explaining It to Someone: Learning from the Arts (2020) – a love letter to literature, music, and theater.

 This third installment, the memoir, turns the gaze more inward. I’ve always been a planner, someone who tries—despite the universe’s best camouflaging effort —to understand the forces that shape a life. The main title, Explaining It, reflects that tendency. The subtitle, A Life Between the Lines, is both a nod to my publishing career and an invitation to look beneath the surface—for the gaps and glimmers that define a life.

 The content outlines family history, much about my best friend and wife (Ann), the significant influence of mentors, the evolution of a professional life, and the adventures of boating, including living on a boat. It also explores my efforts as an octogenarian to navigate an increasingly unfamiliar world, finding solace in the arts.

 It even includes five short stories of mine. There was once a day when there were two distinct sections in a public library: fiction and non-fiction (including reference books): simple and direct.  We all knew what those terms meant. The Dewey Decimal System made it seem that life could easily be classified, organized, understood.   Now we live in a world where fiction masquerades as fact and fiction is becoming realized (especially if it is of dystopian nature). These short stories are not literal autobiography. But they carry the “redolence” of things I’ve seen, understood, or imagined and thus provide another dimension.

 Here’s the Table of Contents for the curious:

 


Now, let’s address the elephant in the bookshop: why write a memoir—and moreover, why publish it?

To the first question: if 90% of success is just showing up (thanks, Woody Allen), then perhaps writing a memoir is just what happens if you live long enough and still like putting metaphoric pen to paper. I quoted James Salter in my last book and again in this memoir: “There comes a time when you realize that everything is a dream and only those things preserved in writing have any possibility of being real.”

So yes, I believe in writing things down. It's a form of accountability. It can give life to distant memories.

Memoir is not just a collection of dates and facts. It’s storytelling—sometimes exactly as remembered, often shaped by time, bias, or selective memory (sometimes mercifully so). Editing this book, I kept asking: why did I include that, and not this? Why that photo, and not another? The selection process was often, in a word (or two), serendipitous or even capricious, not unlike many decisions during one’s lifetime.

As to the second question—why publish it? I’m not under the illusion that there will be many sales.  I’m not “pushing” the book, no speaking engagements.  No signings at bookstores.  I'm not a household name and have never aspired to the status of “influencer.” (Who would have thought such a profession could exist?).  Friends and family will be curious and will no doubt comprise the main market.  Nonetheless, to me, not publishing this would be an “incomplete” grade from the University of Life.  After all, my profession was publishing and not to formally publish this would feel like leaving a job unfinished.

A few months from now a Kindle e-book edition will be available at a lower price for those now allergic to the printed book (or to the impact of inflation on the costs of creating a physical book).

From another publisher’s memoir, Robert Gottlieb’s The Avid Reader: “I attempt not to think about death, but there’s no avoiding the fact that we are all the pre-dead.” A cheerfully sobering phrase. Like Gottlieb, I try to stay forward-looking, doing the things I love with the people who matter. That’s the real subject of this memoir: not endings, but continuities.

After Explaining It To Someone: Learning from the Arts was published five years ago I wrote: “This might be the last book I write or the penultimate one, as I am thinking more about fiction and memoir perhaps in a couple of years if time and health are good to me…”

Well, here it is. Three years late, perhaps, but better that than never. Last or penultimate? Time will tell.